A Food Cart Named Desire
by MojangKikkerland
Summary: Ulquiorra works at a high-end deli. Renji is a chef at an exclusive curry restaurant. With the two restaurants feuding, what could these two possibly find in common other than a shared love of 80's pop ? UlquiRen. First fanfic. Rating will most likely go up.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Bleach. As I said, first fanfiction, UlquiorraxRenji. This is yaoi, and if you didn't know that then you may need to watch Bleach again, but with glasses. Why am I writing this? Romance is definitely not my strong point... let alone yaoi... but hell, I'll give it a shot. Review, review!

* * *

If there was a Mecca for foodies, it had to be Karakura town. Food lovers booked flights months in advance for a vacation. Working in one of Karakura's eating facilities was an aspiring chef's wet dream. The secret was in geography- Karakura's location was in the perfect zone with a long growing season, and just the right amount of rain. Farmers in the area swore that there was something special about the land, something about the location that science couldn't explain. Because of the plentiful fresh ingredients, restaurants became legendary for their exquisite cuisine. Chefs became bold and creative when working with local ingredients, and eating the food gave customers a healthy glow. Even the economy itself thrived. Soon, Karakura had the highest number of restaurants per capita of any city in Japan.

So when Ulquiorra Cifer got a job working at the _S__é__ptima_ Deli starting two months ago, he knew what a privilege it was.

At 5:00 AM on Friday, he hit his alarm button feeling nervous, but excited. He hooked up his iPod to the stereo, and stretched out to _Higher Love_ by Steve Winwood. Brushing his teeth and his hair simultaneously, Ulquiorra scoured the closet for a suitable outfit. A pair of jeans and a Tears For Fears T-Shirt caught his eye, and he hopped around on one leg to pull on his pants. Jumping into his Pontiac, Ulquiorra dropped by the Pancake House for a fast breakfast and drove on to the Deli. He rolled the windows all the way down on his car, and let his hand out into the slipstream. The summer sun was just barely rising, and Ulquiorra could feel the warmth of the day already.

When he pulled into the lot, Zommari was already waiting near the front, holding the keys and dressed in a T-Shirt, _S__é__ptima_ apron and black slacks. Zommari's dark skin contrasted with his white apron, and his hands were already dusted with flour from bread-making. He smiled as his protégé approached, and tossed an apron to Ulquiorra, who quickly fastened it over his shirt.

"You make good time, Cifer." Zommari beamed. " I knew I made the right choice by giving you today's task." Ulquiorra felt a surge of pride. He ducked his head and thanked his boss, black locks of hair curling around his bright green eyes. Zommari laughed. "Come on inside. We have much preparation to complete." Ulquiorra and Zommari worked together to bake fresh sourdough and rye bread. The restaurant warmed up, and was filled with the enticing scent of fresh bread. As they worked, the sun rose and filled the large Deli with natural light. Neither man spoke; they had both grown accustomed to each other's presence.

Today was the big day- the day that every eatery in town was preparing for. From hole-in-the-wall dives to top class caterers, many worked quietly in the early hours of the fateful morning. Two weeks previously, Zommari plopped a flier in front of Ulquiorra during his break. _"I trust you've heard of the famous Food Cart Parade?" _Zommari had said. Ulquiorra knew, everyone in the entire region did. It was the day that every restaurant worth mentioning put a food cart out on Capital Square- there had to be a sixty at least. It was madness, competition was fierce, and the customers loved it. It was like a holiday for the city, food lovers with fat wallets flocked like pigeons to bread crumbs. When Zommari told Ulquiorra that he was going to be in charge of the _S__é__ptima _food cart, Ulquiorra couldn't believe it. Even though he'd only been working there for a month and a half, Zommari really trusted him. Ulquiorra was determined not to let his boss down.

At 8:30, the final preparations were ready. They loaded up the food and ingredients in the Deli's van, and drove out to where the food cart was already parked. Already, many workers were at the food carts, some chatting with the competition or rechecking everything. A tall man with long brown hair and blue eyes was leaning against the _S__é__ptima_ food cart. He looked in their direction and raised a single hand in greeting. Even though it was warm out, he wore a light brown jacket and paper boy cap.

"Starrk, thank you so much for helping us out today." Zommari smiled and shook hands with the man.

Starrk grinned warmly. "I know how much this means to you. It really wasn't any trouble to haul your food cart out here." Starrk nodded to Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra returned the greeting before Starrk lit up a cigarette and drove away in his truck. Ulquiorra wiped away a few beads of sweat that had collected on his brow. Zommari put both his hands on Ulquiorra's shoulders.

"Alright, my boy. I have faith in you. You will make me proud?" Ulquiorra nodded eagerly and Zommari laughed. He patted him once more on the shoulders before releasing him and digging out his car keys.

However, when Zommari was about to leave, a black Mercedez-Benz pulled up. The windows were tinted, wheels equipped with chrome spinners, and there wasn't a single scratch on the car anywhere. Zommari froze, and his hands balled into fists. The passenger's door opened, and a regal, dark haired man stepped out. He had very pale skin, almost as pale as Ulquiorra's. His raven hair was shoulder length, and he wore black sunglasses and a black tailored suit. Then the driver cut the engine and stepped out of the car. Contrary to the suave appearance of the first man, everything about the driver was loud and colorful. His crimson hair was tied up in a high ponytail, and jagged tattoos crested above his chocolate brown eyes. He was wearing dark baggy jeans and a dark blue shirt. He stretched his arms above his head nonchalantly and stifled a yawn.

"Byakuya Kuchiki," Zommari growled to the passenger, eyes narrowed in fury.

"Zommari Rureaux," The dark haired man's voice was as cold as steel.

The crimson haired man looked at the two briefly, before walking up to Ulquiorra and extending a hand and smiling. "Renji Abarai."

Ulquiorra took it. The other man's hand was very warm compared to his own. "Ulquiorra Cifer," He replied pleasantly.

Both Zommari and Byakuya looked at them in horror. Quickly Byakuya yanked Renji backwards while Zommari steered Ulquiorra away.

"Abarai. Do not fraternize with the enemy," Byakuya warned.

"Cifer, you can't associate yourself with _those_ types of people," Zommari chided.

"'Those types of people?' What the hell...!" Renji exclaimed before Byakuya coughed discreetly. Byakuya pointed to his watch.

"Come, Abarai. If you are to indeed man the food cart, I suggest we get going." After shooting a suspicious glance at Zommari, the redhead followed suit and started the car. Byakuya and Zommari leveled a glare at each other, neither man willing to back down from the challenge. Until Renji honked the car horn and Byakuya redirected his glare to his subordinate. The black Mercedes purred as it drove off, glittering in the sun like obsidian.

Zommari's face clouded as the car left. Ulquiorra shifted awkwardly from foot to foot until he finally asked, "Who were they?"

Zommari's gold eyes glinted dangerously in the sun. "Our bitter rivals; the Papa Dom Preach curry house." Zommari's expression turned evil as a smile twisted onto his lips. "We will outsell them, no matter what the cost."

Ulquiorra paled. He had a feeling that this Food Cart Parade was one he was not likely to forget...

* * *

Okay guys. I'll be honest with you. This seemed like a good idea at 11:30 last night, and it seemed like a great idea at 2AM. But now... I don't know. So tell me what you think.

I'm seriously sleep deprived. In the few hours that I managed to catch, I dreamed about being tired and falling asleep in art class. And also jam that wiped my entire conscious mind into oblivion. What does that mean? Someone tell me. R&R please!


	2. Chapter 2

You wanna disclaimer? Read the first chapter.

* * *

"Um, Kuchiki-san?"

Byakuya Kuchiki did not react. The car had stopped just in front of the _Papa Dom Preach_ food cart, and all preparations were being made to ensure the operation ran smoothly. Renji Abarai pulled the key out of the ignition and released it into his boss' waiting hand.

Renji fidgeted for a few seconds before asking nervously, "What exactly happened between you two that made us... enemies?"

Byakuya's calm facade cracked a little as his hand clenched tightly around the car key. "That man," he began in a chilling tone, "Had the gall to make a pass at my sister."

Renji's brown eyes widened, and took on an angry glare. "At Rukia, a teenage girl? What kind of depraved bastard would do that?!" He snorted and shoved open his car door, warranting a glance from a few passerby. Before he closed it, he muttered, "How could anyone work for a man like that?"

* * *

Zommari rubbed his tattooed chin thoughtfully. "Byakuya Kuchiki... That brings back some bad memories."

Ulquiorra turned his green eyes toward his boss. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

Zommari brushed the side of his nose with his fingers. "It began when I started up a conversation with a woman... well, she looked like a woman."

"Forgive me, but I do not think I want to hear this." Ulquiorra began to walk away, because he did not want to hear another story about a mishap with a transvestite. Especially not from Zommari.

"Wait! That's not what I'm talking about. She was the younger sister of that man, Kuchiki. I was unaware of her age... and let me tell you she did nothing to discourage me." Zommari folded his arms haughtily. "Then that tyrannical brother of hers saw us, and blew things way out of proportion. Pretty soon he began to hire bloggers to post bad reviews of our food... and it didn't even stop there. What kind of person solves disputes that way?"

Ulquiorra stopped, his hands inside his pockets. It was disturbing to hear Zommari had been hitting on a teenage girl... but someone deliberately trying to give a restaurant a bad reputation? "What a deceitful man..." He dropped into silence and couldn't help but wonder why anyone would work under such a man. "I understand, sir."

Zommari rubbed his thick palms together, and smiled at Ulquiorra. "Good. Now you know why this is so vital for our restaurant. We need to show the naysayers that ours is a quality establishment... unlike that tackily named curry house." He inhaled and exhaled loudly, before giving Ulquiorra a friendly pat on the shoulder. He didn't notice Ulquiorra shrink away slightly as he turned to walk back to the _S__é__ptima_ van. He called out over his shoulder, "I'll be back later with someone to replace you after the lunch rush is over. For now, do your best! I'm counting on it!"

Ulquiorra watched as the van grew smaller in his vision, until it disappeared completely as it turned a corner. He consulted his wristwatch before observing the street. There were foods from every corner of the world- traditional Japanese favorites, Mexican deserts like flan and churros, Middle Eastern Falafel and homemade pita bread, Spanish tapas, Kosher and Halal food carts side by side with smokehouse barbecues. As usual, Ulquiorra was amazed by the variety of food and culture in the world displayed in a single street. With noon growing near, he stepped into his cart and fired up the grill. The first hungry souls were approaching the herd of food carts. Ulquiorra stretched and prepared himself for the hours of non-stop cooking ahead.

At 12:30, sweat was running down Ulquiorra's neck. He was chopping tomatoes and lettuce at lightning speed, keeping one eye open to watch the growing line that had gathered in front of the _S__é__ptima_ cart. He was thrilled, his talented hands speeding through the food preparations faster than they'd ever gone before. Ulquiorra had known before that Karakura drew masses of customers, but seeing and experiencing it firsthand brought it all into perspective. There were so many people demanding to be fed that he was almost overloaded. Of course, some of the customers were girls that simply wanted an excuse to ogle him. Despite the latter, Ulquiorra found the challenge exhilarating.

He was almost disappointed when, at 3:00, Ggio Vega came to relive him. The small man flashed a toothy grin at Ulquiorra, shrugging his black braid off his shoulder. He bounced into the cramped cart wearing his trademark _Hanshin Tigers_ cap. "Yo noob! How'd you do for your first time in the cart?"

Ulquiorra bristled. He hated being called a noob. "It was perfectly fine," He replied coldly.

Ggio held his hands up in mock surprise. "Geez. Antisocial as ever, I see." The chef's apron Ggio wore enhanced his youthful appearance. He sanitized his hands and rolled up his sleeves. He jerked his head in the direction of the door at Ulquiorra. "Go on. Boss' waiting on you."

Ulquiorra glanced through the window and saw that, indeed, Zommari was leaning against the _S__é__ptima_ van outside. Oddly, he had a strange smile on his face. Ulquiorra knew that when his boss smiled something bad was about to happen. Ulquiorra climbed out of the food cart and began to untie his apron. Business had subsided, but there were still a considerable amount of people out buying food. Ulquiorra quickly combed his dark hair with his fingers, and looked at Zommari questioningly.

Zommari motioned him closer with a beckoning finger. Ulquiorra took a couple steps toward him, and Zommari began with malice, "I know how we can get back at those bastards."

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow. "'Those bastards,' sir?" He was genuinely confused.

Zommari's gold eyes flared. "Kuchiki! _Papa Dom Preach_! Don't get smart with me, wiseass." Zommari looked around to see if anyone was listening before continuing. "Here's what I came up with. I need you to get closer to _Papa Dom Preach's_ chef. Make his acquaintance. He was the redhead that so kindly introduced himself to you earlier."

Ulquiorra's eyes popped for a moment, then narrowed. "Sir, you know how I feel about frivolous social interactions. I refuse to -"

"You said to me when I gave you this job that you'd do anything in your power to become a top chef." Zommari's eyes were clouded with anger, and his forehead was creased. "I suggest you own up to those words, Ulquiorra. Because there are twenty more able cooks willing to take your place." Ulquiorra clenched his jaw, but said nothing. Zommari's face flooded with relief, and it was easy to forget the negative emotions it was filled with just moments before. "Good," he said, lacing his fingers together. "We have an understanding, you and I? Get close to that man, and we may dig up some dirt on Kuchiki. We'll fight fire with fire."

Zommari dismissed him with a wave of his hand, before climbing back into his car. "Now go and find the _Papa Dom Preach_ food cart. It should be just north of here, and from what I understand of its prestige, difficult to miss." Zommari saw the expression Ulquiorra was making. "Cheer up. The man you're looking for is about your age, so you're bound to have something in common." Zommari rolled up the windows and backed cautiously away. For the second time that day, Ulquiorra watched the van drive off.

* * *

Hooray, another chapter! Thanks to those who choose to support me through this bizarre odyssey. I'm hoping you enjoy reading this, because it sure is fun to write.

I'm finding it a lot easier to write for characters like Zommari, because their personalities can really be molded to fit my own purposes. Of course, Zommari isn't a character that brings in those veiwers... Ah well. He won't be in the next chapter anyway.


End file.
